1. Does surrendering to God bring success?

Tim Tebow, former American professional football quarterback, inspired millions of people with his sportsmanship. However, his success story does not merely lie in his ability to win at football. His faith in God drew his fans’ attention in more ways than he could imagine.

At one of the games that he played while he was a student at Florida University, Tebow decided to put ‘Phil 4:13’ under his eye blacks (the black grease that football players wear under their eyes to reduce glare). When a couple of local newspapers published about their victory, the Bible verse caught the attention of quite a few people. Although people did not immediately recognize what it was, it captured their attention. At that time, Tebow testifies that even he did not see what it meant for him to stir this kind of attention from his fans.

Before a major game that would get his team into the national championship, Tebow admits that he felt a strong urge to change the verse under the eye blacks. As he prayed and gave it some thought, he decided to put John 3:16. His team secured an easy victory, and life continued as usual for Tebow. However, at dinner with his parents after they won the national championship, Tebow’s coach, to his utter surprise, told him that 94 million people googled ‘John 3:16’. Tebow later testifies again before thousands of people that he never expected that his victory would let the gospel reach millions of people.

Although we could never know if 94 million people came to believe in Jesus that day, Tebow’s story suggests that his victory did not merely lie in winning the championship but in sparking the curiosity of millions of people about Jesus. Even as Tebow testifies to this, we see that his victory in sports inspired millions of people, not merely about success but about faith in God.

Tebow’s testimony also points us to his personal journey with God. His faith is a reminder of what it means to surrender to God in all that we do. Becoming a national champion takes practice, skill, training in performance, and sacrifice. However, his life displayed more than just sweet victories. His commitment to obeying God’s word, even in simple things such as wearing a Bible verse under his eyes, shows us how God can show Himself through us in more ways than we could imagine. His surrender to God brought him the kind of success that is beyond what his own skill and competence could bring.

As Christians, when we think of surrendering to God, we fall into two categories. Some of us might have the kind of faith that allows us to surrender everything to God without questions. But for most of us, surrender might actually induce fear. We are fearful, not because we don’t trust God’s goodness, but because we believe that His goodness might not always work in our favor. And surrender only seems like giving up something to Him and never receiving it back.

While God might take ‘away’ some things from us, our surrender to Him is an act of faith that allows us to give Him access to things that He gave us in the first place. Our surrender to Him is trusting Him to take what we have and make it more than what we could imagine. It is to know that God is able to do more than we ourselves could do with what we have. So, surrendering to God, while certainly an act of faith and immense courage, and sometimes even sacrifice, brings the kind of success that our own skills and competencies could never bring us. Tim Tebow’s story illustrates this better than anything else.

2. Can we trust our emotions?

Can we trust our emotions? Psychologists tend to disagree with regards to their responses to this question. While most of them concede that it is good to trust our emotions, there are quite a few of them who caution us against placing too much trust in our emotions. And their arguments are noteworthy.

Leon F. Seltzer, clinical psychologist and author, differentiates between gut intuition and emotions in general. He asserts that while gut intuitions are inherently trustworthy, our emotions are not usually reliable for interpreting reality. A major reason why we shouldn’t rely on our emotions to make decisions, especially moral judgments, lies in them being tied to our thoughts, which might often be based on false assumptions and equally erroneous.

For instance, a woman who has consistently faced abuse in her childhood might often feel threatened in the presence of men, regardless of their intent to harm her or not. Her past experiences might force her to relive her trauma in the presence of every man, leaving her feeling extremely sensitive and fearful. In such a case, she cannot fully trust her emotions in her interactions with men. However, Seltzer also notes that if she finds herself alone in an elevator with a strange man, it would be wise of her to trust her ‘gut’ feelings and leave at the next stop. But if the man was actually harmless, her gut feeling that he could threaten her is not a reliable guide for her to interpret the situation accurately.

Jonathan Haidt, another psychologist who has done extensive research in the field of social psychology and authored ‘The Righteous Mind’, explores the relationship between our emotions and our capacity for moral judgement. He argues against the idea that humans do not make moral judgments based on moral reasoning. Rather, we are creatures who rely on our social intuitions to make moral judgments, and moral reasoning follows as a post hoc construction to such judgments. In other words, we tend to rely more on our intuitions that we developed as part of our social and cultural contexts for making moral decisions.

For instance, like the woman stuck in the elevator with a strange man, her decision to get out at the next stop is based more on her gut feelings about how strange men could harm women than a decision she would make based on careful reasoning and analysis. In this case, her feelings serve a good purpose by protecting her from putting herself in harm’s way. Even if the stranger could have been a harmless man who had no intention of hurting her, we would still consider the woman’s actions as wise, based on the general understanding that it is not safe for women to be alone with strange men for long periods of time in an enclosed space. In this case, our moral reasoning is not based on careful analysis and reflection but on our intuitions shaped by the contexts in which we live.

Haidt’s arguments point more to the idea that while we would like to believe that we make moral decisions based on careful reasoning, we often tend to rely on our intuitions and gut feelings, shaped by the people around us. We place trust in our emotions more than we would like to admit. And Haidt, like Seltzer, cautions us against this by emphasizing our tendency to be baised in our thinking in hundreds of ways.

In the Bible, we are commanded not to ‘lean on our own understanding’, but to ‘trust in God with all of our hearts’. We also see that the Bible warns us about how our hearts are deceptive above everything else. Jon Bloom, writer and teacher, states that our tendency to lean on our own understanding is ‘insanity.’ He argues that our own understanding cannot bear the full weight of reality because God never intended us to do that. Instead, we are given the gift of resting all our biases and burdens on the Lord and trusting Him.

While such trust may seem like we are setting aside our intellect, Bloom argues that it is actually the opposite. By resting our intellect on God’s wisdom and power, we are being fully human and exercising our capacities for reasoning to the highest degree. And in doing so, we are not solely relying on either our intellect or our emotions to make moral decisions; we are relying on the One who can truly bear the full weight of reality. Therefore, while our emotions play a crucial role in our moral decision-making, they are not entirely reliable. Only God is ultimately trustworthy, and we will do well when we fully trust him.

3. Is conflict bad for real friendship?

We often form deep friendships when we feel supported and understood by each other. But often, we form our most intimate friendships by navigating conflict together. Even though the idea of confronting a friend may seem daunting to us, being honest about our feelings can deepen our relationships with our friends in more ways than mere peacemaking. Although it is important to create and sustain peace in relationships, conflict is a necessary element to form deep bonds with our friends. Even more so, avoiding conflict can leave us harboring bitterness and resentment over unresolved emotions and can deprive us of real peace.

There are three reasons why conflict can strengthen friendships. First, the act of confronting our friends about how they might have hurt us is an act of humility. Avoiding confrontation may often seem like a good way to maintain harmony. But genuine friends understand that they can be vulnerable and honest with each other. They have the courage to admit that they were hurt and are willing to risk their pride or ego and acknowledge their hurt. They humbly recognize that they value their friendship enough to work through difficult situations.

Second, engaging in conflict with friends also helps us see through our blind spots. We all have areas of our personality or behavior that we may not fully understand or recognize. But when we confront each other gently, we give ourselves the opportunity to reflect on our weaknesses and grow. Genuine friends care enough to point out our flaws or mistakes because they do want to see us become better versions of ourselves.

And third, being honest with our friends is an act of love. Confrontation in genuine friendships is often less coercive and demanding and more kind and respectful. These characteristics are crucial for building trust, and when we connect with our friends in all honesty but do so with kindness and respect, we pave the way for developing trustworthy relationships. Rather than masking our true feelings by putting on a smile, choosing authenticity over niceness could deepen our emotional growth. It only strengthens our love for our friends.

Therefore, when we approach conflict with humility and love, we will realize that honest confrontation is not always a threat to real friendship but can absolutely deepen it. It is through navigating difficult conversations and moments of uncomfortable silence that we deepen our connections, gain insight into our own weaknesses, and build trust. It may be a difficult journey to take, but in the end, our friends, who we deeply value and cherish, will remain with us.